This is a year unlike any other.  A contentious election, a pandemic, economic and social uncertainties.  Our “usual” holiday routines don’t look anything like they should or used to.  Gathering in groups is core to our humanity and often we use the holiday season to catch up with friends and family.  And now we hesitate to host or participate in these events we plan and look forward to. We have our usual Christmas routines of opening presents on certain days, of having a meal with different parts of our families and celebrating with friends who have become our “other” families.  But what will the holiday season look like in 2020?

Growing up, we had a very certain routine.  I could count on the schedule as if it were written in stone.  My out of town grandparents would come to stay at our house mid-day on Christmas Eve, my grandmother giddy with excitement. Food would be carried into to the house and an embarrassment of gifts would be brought in or taken to a cousin’s home depending on whose turn it was to host Christmas morning.

Christmas Eve was spent at a cousin’s house – with steak soup and cheese and crackers and rolls and cinnamon rolls. Often the adults would sit at the table for hours discussing whatever boring things adults discussed while we kids would gravitate to the basement and a TV or fussing with each other, overwrought with anticipation.  Begging to open just ONE present fell on deaf ears time and time again.  Finally, we would separate and go to our own churches for Christmas Eve services and home to go to bed.  The kitchen table would be full of food and the adults would share a cup of coffee and tell us to get to sleep or Santa surely would not be able to complete his rounds.

Often, on Christmas morning, my grandmother was the one to rouse us kids – I know she was more excited than even we were to see if Santa had finally stopped by in the dark of the cold December night.  After discovering what Santa brought and being pulled away from a new toy we either began fixing breakfast or loaded up and headed across town to my cousin’s home for breakfast and then exchanging gifts.  Christmas morning breakfast is still one of my favorite memories, though as a child it seemed to take forever as we waited to open presents.

As I’ve aged, I’ve come to understand that even among silly disagreements and vast differences in temperament, my family enjoyed each other’s company.  And often spent holidays and gatherings at the table picking over food and having one more cup of coffee while talking.  Memories of the women in the kitchen preparing meals and cleaning up after meals all while chatting still warm me.  I miss those moments as generations have gone before and our own families have grown.

But while things change from year to year for whatever reason, this year is going to look very different.  Just when we need the constancy and routine of our holiday season.  In a year when we haven’t been able to spend time with each other we are missing the human connections we celebrate at Christmas.  How better to celebrate our Messiah coming to earth than to celebrate with other people?  And this year we are discouraged to spend time in groups.

This is not a discussion of what heath guidance you should follow, rather a discussion on how to celebrate when we are discouraged to follow our usual routines.  How do we honor the season if we’re not comfortable going to church?

Advent candle lighting

Light your own advent wreath while participating online.  Or do your own simple reading or discussion of that week’s candle’s meaning: hope, faith, joy, peace and love.  If you’re participating in online services, light your advent wreath at the same time in the same way you’ve celebrated Holy Communion remotely.  An advent wreath doesn’t even have to be a wreath.  Candles don’t have to be purple and pink.  Just as I celebrated Communion with a piece of sandwich bread and a juice box while home, lighting candles isn’t defined by strict rules.  Use what you have.  It really is the thought that counts.  It’s also a great craft activity to share with children.  Adults like crafting, too. Google DIY Advent wreath or yule log.

Celebrate Holy Communion

As mentioned before, bread is bread.  Grape juice is grape juice.  You can plan ahead and use the good china for your at home participation of online services with a loaf of bread or grab a slice of whole wheat from the bread box.

Christmas music

While Christmas music seems to come on the radio the minute we’ve put up our Halloween costumes it’s often secular.  Choose a favorite Christmas hymn and sing it when you light your advent wreath or instead of a prayer before meals.  Most of us know at least one verse of the old favorites – if you don’t, use the power of the internet to find one!  This is a great way to include children, also, by teaching them songs of our faith.

Celebrate hanging of the greens

Many churches offer a service of the Hanging of the Greens, decorating – even if symbolically – the sanctuary and discussing the meanings of why we use evergreens and our nativity scene.  Make putting up your holiday decorations an event and discuss the meaning behind the traditional decorations.  Some resources for learning about the symbolism of the season are below.

Finally, as with every holiday season – pandemic or not – allow the season to be imperfect.  Acknowledge that this year may look different.  In my family a particular Christmas Eve snow storm left us snuggled up at home, creating new traditions and enjoying a simpler and less harried day.  Embrace the changes that this year is bringing as you celebrate our coming King Jesus and the constancy of our God in these uncertain times.

Peace.